crunchbuttsteak:

have you ever known somebody so shitty they completely ruin that first name for you?

(via agent324b21)

elemeno-pee:

Lorde wins Best Rock Song and is understandably confused

elemeno-pee:

Lorde wins Best Rock Song and is understandably confused

(via emmablackery)

infinite-waffles:

thtwhitegurrl:

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?

Yup

(via emmablackery)

callmeoutis:

i was ready to just scroll past like “haha grammar humor” but then it was weird al and i,
callmeoutis:

i was ready to just scroll past like “haha grammar humor” but then it was weird al and i,

callmeoutis:

i was ready to just scroll past like “haha grammar humor” but then it was weird al and i,

(via parkingstrange)

snorlaxatives:

waking up and realizing you still have more time to sleep

image

(via parkingstrange)

resstless:

IF YOU EVER FEEL SAD JUST LOOK AT THIS FAKE SLAP 

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(via kingsleyyy)

glenn-rhee-pizzaboy:

greatdarknoodleking:

adult’s movies: sex, explosions, yelling, cheap love story

kid’s movies: deep heart-wrenching death, moments where you question your own values, humor, adult jokes splashed in, the secret to the entire universe, sometimes explosions too

"I dunno man, kid’s movies are just kinda dumb"

have u ever watched a good adult movie or did u just watch transformers and think, ‘yep this is as good as it’s gonna get’

(via traktoristike)

superwholocked-in-albion:

jeankd:

thegoddamazon:

The most important line in the whole damn song. MESSAGE.

The only historically accurate line in the whole film. 

excuse u

(via parkingstrange)

kirschtein-be-bitchin:

shingekinokyojinheaven:

dragon-in-a-fez:

shingekinokyojinheaven:

i told my mom that god has killed babies in the bible and she didn’t believe me so i searched it up and to my surprise

image

wait

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what

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there’s a list???

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JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

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in conclusion god is an asshole

for comparison:

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okay well I mean ten murders is still bad though so

wait

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damn.

god gambles with your souls pass it on

This week on “I Didn’t Know I Was a Satanist”

(via parkingstrange)

I love you, but I’m mad at you is one of the most freeing, important things you can say in a stable relationship. Does that make sense? To know that you have the ability and the right to be mad at someone and know that it doesn’t mean things are over, that it doesn’t mean things are irreparable. That it just means I’m mad, but God, I love you. I love you. Now leave me alone.

ostracizedpoodle:

paradisaic:

ostracizedpoodle:

basketballs smell gross 

go to hell??

why are you defending the smell of a ball 

(via parkingstrange)

rhydonmyhardon:

you are my laptop

my only laptop

you make me happy

when the skies are grey

you’ll never know dear

how much i love you

so please dont take

the charger 

away

(via distraction)